Diary of a Pup in Heat

Day 1

I find evidence that leads me to believe:

a) I somehow cut my foot and didn’t know it

b) Bella hurt one of her feet and didn’t tell me

c) Bella is in heat

Cue temporary state of panic. Call husband. Husband laughs that it happend on my watch.

Day 2

Husband is all alone with Bella (in her fancy new underpants) for 10 straight hours. My turn to laugh. Bwahahahahahaha.

Day 3

We both go a bit crazy with Bella in the house so much these days. But, I go a bit crazier at the thought of the unaltered, testosterone-laden Shepherd across the street sailing over our fence and assaulting my baby. Bella stays in the house.

Day 4

Bella kindly teaches me not to leave her in the crate with her underpants on. That is, unless I want to find only the remnants of what used to be the cotton liner. I dry-heave…because clearly the rest of it went somewhere…

Day 5

Bella visits her spayed and neutered pup-friends, both of whom have taken a very keen interest in sniffing her. Bella sneaks out into the yard. I’m too distracted to think that I should take her underpants off. I dry-heave again at the inevitable outcome. Husband tries to clean up the nasty mess, but Bella decides to sit on the carpet of our friend’s house instead. Husband and I both yell “nooooooooo” as we lunge for her. Lesson learned. Oh, and Bella gets her rear hosed down in the backyard. Sorry, kid.

Day 6

Training day. Trainer convinces me it’s ok for us to bring her in during heat…though I’m still picturing large, testosterone-laden competition dogs assaulting my baby. Heart swells with pride watching husband work with Bella. They are a beautiful team. Trainer warns us not to give Bella harsh-corrections during heat. Wish that were true for human females…I’m just sayin’.

Day 7

Bella has to spend some quality time in her crate as I refuse to leave her outside for long periods of time….you know why. I roll my ankle but still manage to throw her ball a good while when I get home. Lucky dog.

Day 8

Husband and I have dinner with our neighbors and learn that man-neighbor likes to pretend that the stork drops off puppies. “What do you mean your dog is bleeding?”

Day 9

Moodiness has been taken up a notch. Oh goody.

Day 10

More quality time in the crate. Sans-underpants. Disaster averted.

Day 11

Husband learns that heat does not impair Bella’s desire for her tennis ball. Husband goes a little insane today.

Day 12

Bella’s first Valentine’s! Good thing her underpants are pink.

Days 13-21

Coming soon.

About these ads